What Dreams May Come
by coffeecupsandgardenias
Summary: What some folks call impossible is just stuff they haven't seen before. A story of soul mates, the after life, and more.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is a fic based on the absolutely beautiful and stunning movie What Dreams May Come. **

**To those of you who read my last fic, I _promise_ this has a happy ending. Just stick with it. :) **

**Disclaimer: None of this is mine, not Glee, not What Dreams May Come, nothing. I just write stuff. **

**Warnings: None for this chapter, other than smut.**

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><p><strong>Prologue – Love at First Sight<strong>

_When I was young, I met this beautiful boy by a lake._

Blaine lies in his small boat in the middle of the lake. The wind whips above him, gentle yet insistent as he gazes at the blue sky above him. His shoes are kicked off, his head lying in his hands. He hasn't a care in the world. The sun beats down on him, making him almost too warm in his white sweater and light colored pants. But the wind cools him off. It also makes waves that rock the boat gently. He's just starting to fall into a peaceful sleep when – BAM! Something crashes into the side of his boat.

"Ow! Hey! Whoa!" Blaine exclaims, shaken out of his sleep and quite startled. A boy who looks to be around his age laughs from his own small boat. His hair is blowing in the wind, his blue eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Scusi, scusi, scusi!" he says, still laughing. Blaine sits there, a little dazed by the beauty of the stranger. The boy starts speaking in Italian, and although Blaine doesn't speak it, he knows that this guy has a really bad accent. He grins at him, getting up in his boat a little.

"No capeesh," Blaine says with a silly smile on his face, holding his hands out and shrugging.

"No capeesh? Um. Ou est la Suisse?" the boy tries again.

"Switzerland?" Blaine asks, understanding a little. "Oh, Suisse, yeah!" Blaine says, smiling at the other boy.

"Yeah, Switzerland!" he answers back excitedly, rowing his boat so that he doesn't drift too far away. "Hi! Oh, you're American?" he asks, a look of relief spreading across his face.

"You—so are you!" Blaine says stupidly.

"Yeah," the boy says, drifting further and further from Blaine, despite his attempts to control his boat.

"Keep going that way, until you smell money or you step in chocolate," Blaine teases, pointing north. The boy gives him a look like he's not sure what to say but then he laughs.

"Okay," he says with a giggle. "Thank you." Blaine stands up in his boat and Kurt does the same, only to be knocked down by the small sail as the wind it.

"Whoa! Watch your head!" Blaine calls out from across the lake. "You okay?"

"I'm fine!" the boy yells out, obviously embarrassed and still giggling. Blaine waves, watching as he floats farther and farther away. The boy waves back, a large grin on his face.

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><p>Blaine sits on a grassy cliff full of pink wildflowers, taking in the beautiful scenery in front of him. The lake sparkles beneath him, though half of it is in the shade of the giant mountains across from him. There's snow on the higher parts and the peaks are jagged and sharp. It's breathtaking, but not quite as breathtaking as the boy who is walking up towards him. He smiles nervously at Blaine, hair blowing wildly in the wind.<p>

"Can I sit here?" the boy asks with a nervous smile. Blaine looks up at him, unable to speak for a minute as he stares at him.

"Actually, no," Blaine says, though there's still a smile on his face. "Two years ago I reserved this specific area." The boy laughs.

"How about if I say please?"

"That's the one exception," Blaine says, nodding at the ground. The boy laughs again, putting down the basket he had carried with him. He pulls off the red cloak he had been wearing, leaving him in all white, loose fitting clothes. He shakes the cloak out, almost losing his hold on it when the wind catches it. He finally gets it down with Blaine holding onto one of the edges and sits down on it.

"So did you find Switzerland?" Blaine asks.

"Um. I did, yeah. And I claimed it for California. You know, I planted my little flag and sold beads to the natives," the boy says, shrugging as Blaine laughs. "They had sandwiches there," he adds. "I brought you some." Blaine can't stop smiling at this boy as he reaches into the basket to pull out some of the sandwiches.

"I'm Kurt," he says. "Hummel."

"Oh sure, the man who discovered Switzerland!" Blaine says with a ridiculous German accent. "I'm Blaine Anderson." They stare at each other for a moment, smiling before Blaine asks, "How did you know I'd be here?"

"Um…I didn't?" Kurt says a little awkwardly, nervously laughing again. Blaine laughs with him, still smiling as he reaches out to gently touch his hand. Kurt looks down at his hand before putting his other hand on top of Blaine's. They continue to smile stupidly as they laugh and get to know each other.

Before they know it, the sun is setting and it's getting cold up there in the mountains.

"I should be going…" Kurt says, shivering slightly. They both stand up and Blaine picks up Kurt's cloak from the ground, shaking it out in the ever present breeze before leaning in to wrap it around him. As he fastens the cloak, Kurt looks at him before closing the distance between them and kissing Blaine sweetly on the lips. He pulls back, blushing madly and Blaine looks at him, a little dazed.

"I…I'm sorry," Kurt apologizes, feeling stupid. "I'm usually not so forward—" He's cut off when Blaine's lips meet his own again. His eyes flutter closed as he melts into the kiss – still sweet, but a little more passionate now. Blaine wraps his hands around Kurt, pulling him close as they continue to kiss in the twilight. Kurt licks across Blaine's lip tentatively and Blaine opens his mouth for him. Their tongues tangle together and Blaine lets out a soft moan that sends spikes of heat all over Kurt's body.

When they finally part, they look at each other, both panting and cheeks flushed. They both laugh because neither of them are like this. They don't go around kissing boys they've just met. But something about this is different. Blaine feels a pull towards Kurt. He tries to dismiss it. He doesn't believe in love at first sight because that's stupid. But when they look into each other's eyes, bright blue meeting soft honey, Blaine thinks he might change his mind.

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><p>A month later, Blaine stands outside Kurt's house and rings the doorbell. After talking some more, they had realized that they had lived only two towns apart their entire life. It only took a trip to Italy to bring them together.<p>

Blaine smiles to himself as he waits for Kurt to open the door, adjusting his bowtie more from nerves than anything else. He plans on telling Kurt that he loves him tonight. He knows it's soon; it's only been a month that they've even known each other. But he still feels it, and he's not very good at hiding his feelings. And with the way Kurt looks at him sometimes, neither is he.

Kurt finally opens the door, dressed flawlessly in tight black pants, a white collared shirt and a silver vest. His hair is styled perfectly, as usual, and as he walks forward to give Blaine a light kiss on the lips, he can hear the heel of his boots click.

"So where are you taking me tonight, Mr. Anderson?" Kurt asks as he links arms with Blaine and they walk down to his car. They take turns taking the other out and tonight it's Blaine's turn to treat Kurt.

"You'll see," Blaine says mysteriously as he opens the door for Kurt before going over to the driver's side and getting in. He drives them to the fancy part of town and parks in front of an Italian restaurant, _Il Fornaio. _

"I thought in honor of our one month anniversary, we could take a little trip back to Italy," Blaine says, giving him that goofy grin again. Kurt looks at him wide eyed before smiling back.

"And you said you were no good at romance."

They eat a fancy meal by candlelight, giving each other small shy smiles as they hold hands across the table. The waiter brings them espresso with their tiramisu and they chat as they sip their drinks.

"Wait. I don't get it. You don't seem that sad at all," Blaine says as Kurt tells him about his paintings he had submitted to his favorite gallery. They hadn't chosen him to spotlight that month.

"It was still amazing. I may not have got the feature, but my paintings were accepted to a gallery for the first time in my life. I had breakfast with Tiffany, and I might even get featured next month," Kurt says lightly and takes a sip of his coffee.

"I love you," Blaine says dreamily as he looks at Kurt. Kurt's eyes widen and he takes a moment to swallow his coffee. He had been planning on telling Blaine the very same thing tonight. He smiles at him and squeezes his hand.

"I love you, too," Kurt says and they look at each other in the soft candlelight for a few moments before the waiter breaks the spell by dropping of the check and asking if they need anything else. Blaine pays for the meal and they leave the restaurant, walking out to Blaine's car hand in hand.

Blaine goes around to the passenger side to open Kurt's door for him, but is surprised when Kurt pushes him against the door and kisses him hard.

"I love you," Kurt breathes in between kisses and Blaine tries to say it back but Kurt's lips are on his again and all that comes out is a breathy mumble. Kurt wedges a leg between Blaine's legs and starts to grind against him and suddenly Blaine finds it very hard to think.

"I want to go back to your place," Kurt whispers in Blaine's ear before pulling back from him. Blaine shivers and nods, reaching behind him to open the door for Kurt.

They hold hands as they drive to Blaine's house, both sitting in silence. Both wondering if they're ready for this next step in their relationship. But when Blaine stops at a red light and turns his head to look at Kurt and their eyes meet, all doubt is gone. They're ready. They're in love and they are so, _so_ ready.

Blaine pulls into his driveway and Kurt doesn't wait for him to help him out of the car. Blaine's hands are shaking slightly as he unlocks the door and leads Kurt intohis simple home.

"Would you like a drink? I have whiskey, scotch, beer…"

"Blaine, I want _you_," Kurt says, the shyness gone except for the slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. Blaine smiles at him and takes his hand, walking down the hall to his bedroom. He pushes Kurt gently down onto the bed, crawling next to him and looking into his eyes.

"I lov—" Kurt cuts him off again with another kiss.

"You stole my thunder, you know," Kurt says when he pulls back, touching Blaine's cheek gently.

"Huh?"

"I had planned on telling you I loved you tonight," Kurt smirks. "Even though I've felt that way since I met you." Blaine smiles back at him, moving in to brush his lips against Kurt's.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who felt it," Blaine murmurs before kissing him soundly. They lay side by side, tangling their limbs together as their kisses begin to get more heated. Blaine pulls back from him, breathless and completely aroused. He takes hold of Kurt's wrist, rubbing it gently with the pad of his thumb and looks deep into his eyes

"You're sure?" Kurt nods.

"And you're sure?" Kurt asks. Blaine also nods. They look into each other's eyes. Kurt can see his own nerves are reflected back at him in his boyfriend's eyes.

"I love you, Blaine." Blaine smiles, swallows nervously. This is important. This is their first time. Well, not their first time. But their first time with each other.

"I love you, t-" He's cut off by Kurt's lips on his mouth. Blaine thinks he really needs to stop doing that.

The kiss is slow and gentle, lips moving against lips. It's passionate but not desperate. They move closer together, and without any words spoken between them, Kurt spreads his legs for him and Blaine wedges his leg between them. Kurt rocks his hips forward slowly, experimentally as their kissing gets a little more frantic. Kurt slides his tongue in and out of Blaine's mouth and they both moan softly.

Blaine slides a hand down Kurt's back, slipping it underneath his shirt and running it over his smooth skin. Kurt lets out a soft gasp against Blaine's lips. His hand is so _warm_ and his touch on his skin is making Kurt feel like he's on fire. He rocks a little faster against Blaine's leg now, his face flushing with arousal.

Blaine groans, letting Kurt rock against him. His hand traces slow circles over Kurt's spine and he loves how this touch is making Kurt fall apart.

And then Kurt's hands move to the bottom of Blaine's shirt. But not so he can slide his hands underneath. No, Kurt is much greedier than that. He tugs at Blaine's shirt, tugs until Blaine gets the hint and lifts his arms up so Kurt can pull it up and off, throwing it to the ground. Blaine returns the favor for him, and they both take a moment to stare at each other before pressing back together. They both moan at the feeling of the skin on skin contact.

Blaine presses their lips together again and their kissing is a little bit more desperate this time. Kurt's leg wraps around Blaine to pull them closer together. He gasps when he feels Blaine's erection pressed against him and they slowly start to grind together, soft gasps and the moaning of one another's names escaping their lips.

Kurt feels the heat build in his stomach and he pushes Blaine away. Blaine looks confused, hurt, scared for a moment until Kurt gets on top of him, straddling his waist. Blaine starts to relax again but Kurt starts palming him over the tight pants he's got on and he bucks up into his touch.

"Please," Blaine moans, needing to get out of the pants. Kurt seems to understand and he pops the button. When he unzips his pants he does it slowly, putting pressure on Blaine's cock as he moves down, making Blaine whimper.

Kurt pulls Blaine's pants down and off before leaning down to kiss him. They start rocking together again, Kurt's cock straining hard against his tight black pants. Blaine's hands wander down to Kurt's ass and he slides his hand into his back pocket.

"Can I?" Blaine asks and Kurt nods. He pushes back from Blaine so that he can lift himself partway off of him. Blaine's fingers fumble gracelessly over the six buttons that are keeping Kurt's pants closed. He lets out a small gasp and licks his lips.

"You're not wearing any underwear," Blaine breathes, as if Kurt could possibly be unaware of this fact. Kurt smirks even as he blushes slightly but Blaine doesn't see because he's staring at Kurt's cock. He pushes Kurt onto his back, pulling his own pants and underwear off before removing Kurt's last bit of clothing. They take in the sight of each other's bodies, breathing heavy, both cocks leaking precome.

Blaine surges forward, kissing him desperately now. He positions himself fully on top of Kurt and they both moan as their cocks rub together. Kurt tangles his hands in Blaine's curly hair, pulling him back down for another kiss as they grind together. Kurt starts thrusting his tongue in and out of Blaine's mouth until Blaine is a whimpering mess. He feels the heat flood in his stomach and he's about to come, when Kurt goes still underneath him.

"Stop," Kurt pants and Blaine is immediately filled with dread. _He's not ready, he hates me, he doesn't like my cock._ All these things run through Blaine's mind before he looks into Kurt's eyes and sees that none of this is true.

"Get the lube," Kurt whispers softly.

Blaine opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it, reaching in his nightstand and grabbing the bottle he had hidden deep in the drawer. He bites his lip, looking back to Kurt, his eyes questioning.

Kurt smiles softly at Blaine, loving him even more in that moment.

"Blaine. I want you inside me," he says, answering the question in Blaine's eyes. Blaine nods, leaning back down to kiss him sweetly before flipping the cap on the bottle of lube and pouring some over his fingers.

"I love you," he says again as he spreads Kurt's legs slowly, giving him plenty of time to change his mind. But Kurt doesn't say anything, just looks down at him, his eyes a little hazy from pleasure and the overwhelming _intimacy_ he feels with Blaine right now.

Blaine runs his slicked up fingers over Kurt's entrance, watching with delight as Kurt moans and fists the sheets. He gently presses one finger barely inside Kurt. Kurt gasps and Blaine freezes, but Kurt jerks his hips forward, wanting Blaine to continue. Blaine gives him a shaky smile and presses his finger all the way inside him very slowly. He presses kisses to Kurt's thighs, leaving a few small marks on his pale skin.

When Kurt starts grinding down on his finger, Blaine starts thrusting it in and out slowly. He bites his lip to distract himself so he doesn't start grinding down on the mattress.

"More," Kurt demands, his voice high pitched and needy.

Blaine groans softly, looking up at Kurt as he writhes on the bed. He carefully begins pressing a second finger inside Kurt, biting back a loud groan as he feels the tightness surrounding him. Kurt groans as Blaine starts to wiggle his fingers, stretching him before he starts that slow thrusting again. Blaine crooks his fingers and Kurt's toes curl from the pleasure as he arches halfway off the bed.

"Blaine!" Kurt's voice is ragged from pleasure.

Blaine smirks, doing that a couple more times until Kurt cries out.

"S-stop. I'm going to come!" His already flushed face gets a little deeper red. Blaine stills his fingers, kissing his inner thighs. He waits for Kurt's breathing to even out a little before he starts pushing the third finger in.

"Oh god," Blaine can't help but moan. His cock twitches with need and arousal. Kurt lets out a soft whimper from the slight burn of the third finger. It's been quite a while since he's been with anyone and he doesn't ever use more than two fingers when he does this to himself.

"Give me your hand," Kurt whispers, holding his out. Blaine brings his free hand up, linking their fingers together and Kurt squeezes his hand as Blaine continues pushing inside him. Once fully in, he lets Kurt adjust before he starts moving again, crooking his fingers in just the right way so that the pain begins to mix with pleasure and Kurt turns into a writhing mess beneath him once more.

"Please, baby, please!" Kurt cries out, now grinding down hard against his fingers. His grip on Blaine's hand has loosened as the pain faded, but their fingers are still laced together. Blaine thrusts his fingers a couple more times inside him before he looks up at Kurt.

Blaine's usually wide, innocent eyes are a few shades darker, the blush on his cheek spreading down to his neck. He pulls his fingers out of him and begins to quickly slick up his cock, careful not to touch himself too much. He doesn't want to get too close. His left hand doesn't let go of Kurt's the entire time. He spreads Kurt's legs further, lining himself up, the head rubbing against Kurt's hole.

"You're sure?" Blaine breathes. Kurt nods.

"Completely." Blaine takes a deep breath, pushing slowly inside. Kurt winces and squeezes Blaine's hand again. Blaine leans down to kiss him softly, carefully inching inside him. He brings their linked hands up to Kurt's head, moving to kiss the back of Kurt's hand.

Kurt lets out a pathetic whine, eyes screwed shut against the pain. Blaine stops moving inside him, gently placing kisses over his face.

"Should I stop?" Blaine whispers and Kurt shakes his head.

"N-no. Just...give me a second." Blaine nods, closing his eyes to get the willpower to stay still as Kurt clenches around him. He moans loudly and finally what seems like an eternity later, Kurt tells him to start moving again. Blaine slides the rest of the way inside him, perhaps faster than he should have, but he can't help it. Kurt is so hot and tight and it's better than anything he's ever felt before.

Kurt lets out a soft whimper, his free hand moving to Blaine's back, nails digging into his skin. Blaine grunts, head lolling forward onto Kurt's shoulder. His breathing is heavy and his body is trembling with need, but he won't move until Kurt tells him to. Kurt lifts Blaine's head back up so he can kiss him sloppily before he whispers "Move."

Blaine starts moving, slowly pulling out of him and pressing back in. He wants to start thrusting deep and fast, fucking him raw. But there will be other times for that, he's sure. Right now it's about making love, not fucking. About going slow and feeling everything their bodies have to give each other.

They both make soft moans, soon muffled when Blaine covers Kurt's lips with his own. He starts a slow and steady rhythm, his free hand moving down to Kurt's cock to pump him in time with his thrusts. Their hands that are locked together squeeze each other alternately. There are whispered "I love you"s and names gasped as Blaine starts to pick up the pace a little.

Kurt feels his orgasm building and he starts grinding down on Blaine's cock, encouraging him to move faster, harder. Blaine does, also speeding the pace of his hand. Kurt's cry catches in his throat as he looks up at his beautiful, perfect, wonderful boyfriend. Blaine's honey-colored eyes are warm and full of love as he leans down to kiss him once more. Kurt moans against his lips and as Blaine sucks on his tongue, Kurt falls over that blissful edge, mind spiraling with pleasure as he comes hard over Blaine's hand and his own stomach. Blaine follows quickly after him as Kurt clenches tight around his cock. He comes hard, deep inside Kurt, hips stuttering forward. He pulls back from Kurt's lips to look into his eyes.

"I love you, Blaine Anderson."

"I love you too, Kurt Hummel."

Blaine leans down to give him another gentle kiss before he pulls out of him and flops down next to him, still holding his hand. They don't care that they're both sweaty and covered in come. All they care about is being there with each other, holding on to each other, loving each other. They fall asleep in each other's arms, not letting go the entire night.

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><p>Blaine and Kurt walk down the aisle of the large church together. They had decided it was better this way. They would walk down together, as equals. Blaine wears a traditional black tuxedo with the black bowtie that Kurt had tied for him only an hour or so ago with shaking hands. Kurt had decided to go with a black suit but silver vest and bowtie. He was even wearing silver boots that had a bit of a heel (though Blaine didn't know why because Kurt was already taller than him) that clicked as they walk down the aisle of the church filled with their family and friends here to see them married.<p>

Kurt sort of trips when they get halfway there and they both laugh like crazy, Blaine clutching onto Kurt tightly to make sure he doesn't actually topple over. Blaine looks straight ahead, trying to pretend like nothing happened even as they both laugh. They finally get it together enough to smile at each other, linking hands as they continue their walk down to the alter together.

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><p>Kurt blinks his eyes at the stream of water that's currently being directed at his face. The dog is barking and the kids are screaming in delight. Kurt runs over to Blaine, trying to hide behind him to keep from getting more water sprayed at him. Blaine's got the other hose and he's aiming it at their son, who's hiding behind the car that they were all supposed to be washing.<p>

"Traitor!" Ian cries out, trying to hit his dads with the water from his hose. Blaine and Ian fight it out, as Kurt laughs behind them.

"Stop it! I'll give you extra allowance!" Kurt yells, though he's laughing right along with them. Ian catches Blaine off guard and sprays him in the face, crossing the distance between them and dropping the hose down Blaine's shirt. Their daughter, Marie, comes out of her hiding spot, seeing that her brother has the upper hand in this water fight and grabs the hose Blaine dropped, spraying both of her parents. Kurt clings to Blaine and they laugh as they are completely soaked by their children.

Finally, they seem to tire of tormenting their parents when some of the neighborhood children come along. They start a water fight with them and Kurt and Blaine sneak off to hide behind a hedge. There's still water spraying everywhere so Kurt takes off his parka and lifts it over his head to protect himself as they crouch and hide. They laugh some more at the foolishness before Kurt lifts the parka up again, covering both of them.

"Let's make out," he says with a giggle before leaning in to kiss his husband.

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><p><strong>AN: As always, reviews are appreciated. :) **


	2. Chapter 01  Shattered Dreams

**A/N: Whoa, it's been a long time since I updated. Oops! So I'm gonna give you three chapters!**

**Note: Whenever the text is bolded, that means it is a flashback/memory. Now stay with me on this. Or else it will get confusing. Bold = memory. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 1 – Shattered Dreams<strong>

Kurt cracks an egg into the hot frying pan. Marie sits at the kitchen table, eating her breakfast and laughing with a full mouth. Ian sits next to her, working on a model navy ship he's been building. They're all laughing.

"I tell you…" Ian says and they all laugh a little more. Then Kurt turns to look at him, a little more seriously.

"Come on, you've got to eat something."

"No, I don't. I can get something at school," Ian protests, going back to focusing on his ship.

"Yeah, and I know what you'll get," Kurt says a little testily.

"Well, Dad, I gotta carb up. I got a game," he says with a roll of his eyes.

"And a math test," Blaine says, walking in the kitchen, newspaper in hand.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ready," Ian says. "I'm cool." He puts the boat down and starts to pack up his things as Blaine sits down at the table.

"Daddy, if you pick me up, I won't have to wait a million hours at his _incredibly _boring games," Marie says, turning around to look at Kurt with a hopeful expression.

"I'm sorry, Marie. I have a meeting. And Liz's going to swing by and pick you up before she gets your brother," Kurt says, brushing a stray strand of Marie's short hair out of her eyes. He gets down on his knees next to his pouting daughter. "I'll let her take the van. And I'll see you at Brittany's thing tomorrow."

"I thought you couldn't."

"I'll work it out, honey. I don't want to miss it." Kurt says, giving Blaine a look. Blaine sits at the end of the table, watching his family over his newspaper with a small smile on his face.

Liz, the housekeeper walks in.

"We're late, guys! I'll pull out the van?" She looks to Kurt and he nods. Marie and Ian get up, grabbing their backpacks from the end of the table.

"Hey, ace it, okay?" Blaine says to Ian.

"Yeah," Ian says doubtfully, rolling his eyes again. He crosses over to Kurt and kisses him on the cheek. "Love you," he says and walks out. Marie does the same and follows after him, blowing Blaine a kiss too. Blaine smiles over his newspaper. Kurt picks at the fried egg, laughing a little.

"Do you…do you want his breakfast?" he asks, holding up the burned and ruined egg. They both laugh to each other as Liz honks the horn for the kids to get in the van. Blaine sees Marie's lunchbox still sitting on the kitchen table and runs out to the car. He hands it to Marie through the open window.

"Your father puts healthy stuff in there so don't trade it—"

"For potato chips and cookies, I know, I know." Blaine smiles at her and gives her a kiss on the cheek. He looks at Ian in the backseat and smiles. He pulls back as the van drives away, watching it drive down the street colored with the purple flowers from the jacaranda trees.

_It was the last time Kurt and I saw them alive._

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><p>Blaine sits next to Kurt in the front pew of the church. His lip quivers as he looks at the double caskets in front of him. He looks away and focuses on the minister getting up to the pulpit instead.<p>

"When death claims the life of our children, we are left with too many questions." Blaine and Kurt's hands are linked together, holding on tightly to each other. Tears are silently sliding down Kurt's face, but Blaine holds back his tears, trying to be strong for him.

"How do we make sense of the feelings we're left with?" Blaine chances a glance at the coffins again, both closed, both covered in those purple jacaranda flowers.

"The Gospel according to Luke, even 1st Corinthians, tells us of the extraordinary paradise that awaits us." Blaine's not really paying attention, too busy wallowing in his grief.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine pulls his car into the parking lot of the preschool, pinching the bridge of his nose to try to stop his headache. It had been a very busy day at the doctor's office, and even though he was supposed to be taking a half day vacation, he hadn't been able to get away until 3:00. He was supposed to help Kurt with the cooking and cleaning in preparation for Thanksgiving the next day. It was their turn to host the holiday for all their family and it was a lot of work.<strong>

**Kurt had hung up on him when he told him he was probably going to be a little late. Blaine didn't bother calling him back to tell him he wasn't going to make it at all. **

**Blaine gets out of the car with a sigh, walking into the building to sign Marie out. One of the teachers goes to find Marie for him and he looks around at the brightly colored walls while he waits. A few minutes later, Miss Linda appears with Marie. Her face is smudged with dirt and her clothes are filthy, completely ruined. **

"**What happ—"**

"**We found her in the sand box," Miss Linda explains, giving him a look that says 'I'm sorry this happened but boy am I glad I don't have to clean her up.' Blaine purses his lips and looks down at his daughter. **

"**Thank you," he says, though he doesn't mean it at all. He takes Marie by the hand and pulls her out to the car, strapping her securely into the car seat. He doesn't say anything to her but he can tell she knows she's in trouble by the way she's hanging her head and sticking her lower lip out. He closes the door and pulls out of the parking lot before he looks back at her dirty face in the rearview mirror.**

"**Marie, what is wrong with you? You know your father spent **_**hours**_** making that outfit for you. Do you have any idea how upset he's going to be? What were you **_**thinking**_**?" Blaine knows he's being a little harsh. She's only four years old. But Blaine's in a bad mood and taking it out on her. He knows Kurt is going to be pissed at him the rest of the day and probably throughout the holiday weekend, and he'll probably end up getting blamed for the ruined outfit as well. **

**He hears a blubbering noise and looks back in the mirror to see that Marie's crying, tears cleaning her dirty face as they fall from her eyes. He sighs. Great. Just what he needs. **

"**I'm s-sorry, Papa," she says through her tears, bringing a dirty hand up to her face to wipe her eyes. The dirt smears around more but she somehow doesn't get any in her eyes. **

"**Oh, honey…" Blaine hates to see her like this. When he stops at a red light he grabs a wet wipe from the back seat and wipes her face as clean as he can before it turns green again. They ride the rest of the way home in silence, except for Marie's crying. Neither one are looking forward to facing Daddy. **

**Blaine pulls into the garage and unbuckles Marie from her car seat, thinking that maybe he can sneak another outfit from the laundry room and change her quickly before Kurt sees. His plan is lost as Kurt walks into the garage, obviously in a bad temper. He doesn't even see Marie's filthy state as he turns on Blaine.**

"**I asked you to take one day off. **_**One day**_**, Blaine! The office isn't going to shut down without y—" He gasps as he sees Marie covered in dirt, the yellow outfit with gingerbread men he had worked so hard at making completely ruined. **

"**What **_**happened**_**?" Kurt nearly shrieks and Marie bursts into tears again. Kurt glares at Blaine, looking to him for an explanation though he has none. **

"**We were p-playing Thanksgiving and I was the t-turkey so they putted dirt on me so I would c-cook right in the oven," Marie explains miserably, tears still running down her cheeks and a little snot dripping out of her nose. **

**And just like that the tension between them all breaks. Both Blaine and Kurt try to hold it back, not wanting to hurt their daughter's feelings but they **_**can't **_**and soon they're both cracking up, laughing so hard there are tears in their eyes. **

**Marie sniffles, looking at her two dads and wondering what's wrong with **_**them**_**. The look of utter bewilderment on her face just makes them laugh harder and they hold onto each other for support.**

* * *

><p><strong>Ian bounces the basketball a few times before throwing it at the hoop with all his might. The ball misses the basket completely, landing at the opposite end of the court. He sighs but runs after it, determined to make a three-pointer if it's the last thing he does. He grabs the ball and hustles back to the three-point line. He tries again, his technique all wrong.<strong>

**Blaine pushes open the door to the school auditorium but Ian doesn't notice. He keeps trying (and failing) to make the shot. But he doesn't give up. He hits the rim of the hoop and although the ball still doesn't go in, Ian gives a whoop of joy. He thinks if he can make it in, he'll be able to move up to the varsity team. He's in **_**8**__**th**__** grade**_**. He can't be on JV. That's for the baby 7****th**** graders. **

**Blaine clears his throat and Ian turns around. **

"**Hey, Pop," Ian says, clutching the basketball tightly. How long had he been watching? He doesn't want his dad to see how bad he is. He'll be so **_**disappointed**_**.**

"**So how'd the tryouts go today?" Blaine asks gently, guessing that they didn't go too well from what he just witnessed. Ian fakes a bright smile, passing the ball to Blaine who drops his keys as he reacts to catch it. **

"**Great! I made Varsity!" Ian lies. He just wants his dad to be proud. **

"**Really? Son, that's great! I'm so proud of you," Blaine says, smiling brightly at him and clapping him on the shoulder. "What do you say we go out and get some ice cream to celebrate?" Ian's eyes light up and he smiles even brighter at him. His papa is **_**proud**_**. He ignores the fact that he didn't actually make the varsity team for now. He wants to bask in this feeling for a while.**

"**Yeah! Can I get a sundae with extra sprinkles, Papa?" **

"**You can get anything you want, kiddo." Blaine ruffles Ian's hair affectionately. **

**Ian's halfway through his sundae with extra sprinkles when it starts to lose its appeal to him. He's worried about lying to his dad and now he's thinking about how much more disappointed he'll be when he finds out. Because Papa **_**always**_** finds out. **

**Blaine notices Ian pushing around the ice cream in his bowl and furrows his eyebrows. **

"**Ian? What's wrong? Not enough sprinkles?" **

"**Pop, I…I need to tell you something." Ian's voice is small and quiet and he won't meet his father's eyes. **

"**I'm listening."**

"**You gotta promise to not get mad, okay?" **

"**Okay," Blaine agrees, certain he knows what this about. Ian takes a deep breath and another bite of ice cream, just to stall. "Son? What is it?"**

"**Ididn'tmakevarsity," Ian says in one breath, embarrassed to find tears stinging his eyes. **

"**What about JV?" Blaine asks softly. **

"**Yeah but they let anyone jo—"**

"**Hey," Blaine interrupts. "You made a team. That's what counts!" he says encouragingly. Ian looks up at him, not sure what to do with his response. This was not what he was expecting at all. **

"**You'll give it your all. I know you, Ian. I know you can do it. Think of this as a stepping stone." Ian still doesn't say anything, swirling his spoon in circles in his melted ice cream. "How about we go home and shoot some hoops? I can give you a few pointers." **

**Ian's eyes grow wide as he looks up at him.**

"**Really, Pop?"**

* * *

><p>"<strong>Marie, check the toast. I think it's burning." Blaine looks over his shoulder at the toaster while Marie goes to check it. He returns his attention to the omelet he's making for Kurt, adding the spinach and feta cheese.<strong>

"**Ow!" Ian yelps and Blaine turns around to see he's cut his finger while trying to slice the cantaloupe. Blaine turns the heat down on the frying pan before bringing Ian over to the sink and turning the cold water on to rinse his finger off. **

"**Hold it under the water," Blaine instructs before he grabs a small bowl from the cupboard. He goes to the counter and pours some sugar into the bowl then brings it back to Ian, turning the faucet off. **

"**Put your finger in the sugar. It'll stop the bleeding." Ian looks at him like his hair is on fire, but obeys. It's a trick Blaine's grandmother had taught him. The sugar stops the bleeding because of its graininess, but doesn't sting like salt would. **

**Blaine goes back to the stove to flip the omelet quickly before he helps Marie finish putting loganberry jam on the toast for Kurt. He quickly finishes cutting up the fruit then goes to the bathroom to grab Ian a bandage. **

"**Look what I made for Daddy!" Marie taunts Ian. 'You didn't do anything and I made him toast!" **

"**Shut up! Papa helped you with it, you twerp!" **

"**Kids!" Blaine says sternly. "You both helped plenty. Now Ian, give me your finger. No, don't rinse it off. Shake most of the sugar off." He wraps Ian's finger in the bandage and kisses it. "All better." He washes his hands before flipping the now done omelet onto a plate. **

"**Ian, pour a cup of coffee. Marie, get some silverware." The kids listen to him as Blaine puts the fruit and toast on the plate too. Ian carries the mug of coffee, Marie carries the silverware (two knives and a spoon) and Blaine carries the plate of food on a little tray. **

**Kurt's laying perfectly still on his back in bed. He's awake, he has been awake ever since Blaine got up. But he knows what his family is trying to do for him, so he plays along. **

"**Daddy!" Marie jumps on the bed and Kurt mumbles sleepily. "Daddy, Daddy, wake up! It's your birthday!" Kurt blinks slowly, smiling up at his daughter. **

"**Well good morning, sweetheart." He pretends to look surprised when he sees Ian and Blaine. "And what's this?"**

"**Happy birthday, baby," Blaine says, giving his husband a kiss on the cheek. Kurt smiles at him as he sits up and Blaine places the tray on his lap. **

"**Happy birthday, Dad," Ian says, handing Kurt the mug of coffee. Marie eagerly hands Kurt the knives and spoon and they all laugh. Kurt valiantly scoops up some of the omelet with the spoon.**

"**What a wonderful surprise. Thank you!" Blaine winks at him, taking his coffee from him and setting it on the nightstand. **

"**Okay, kids. Why don't we let Daddy eat and get ready to go visit Uncle Finn?" **

"**Yes!" Ian pumps his fist in the air and goes off to his room to get dressed but Marie stays behind. **

"**Do I have to go, Papa?" she asks Blaine, pouting a little. "All Uncle Finn does is play video games with Ian."**

"**Auntie Stacy said you could play with her vintage dolls…" Marie gasps and scampers out of the room to go get ready. **

"**So they're visiting my brother?" Kurt asks, eyebrows raised as he scoops a piece of melon onto his spoon. **

"**Mhmm."**

"**And what are you doing?" **

"**Well, I thought I'd stay here and give you that body massage…"**

* * *

><p>Blaine snaps back to the present. His eyes flicker back to the coffins before he stares straight ahead, listening to the minister drone on and on.<p>

All that's gone now. He'll never get to tell his kids he loves them again. Or how proud of them he is. He's lost everything. Everything but Kurt.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews are lovely. :D**


	3. Chapter 02  Working Together

**Chapter 2 – Working Together**

**Four Years Later**

A little girl around eight years old grabs a piece of yellow chalk from the table in the busy waiting room. She runs over to the wall painted with Grecian art and draws an arced line from one of the statues to the ground, making it look like he's peeing.

Blaine walks out, carrying his clipboard.

"Okay," he says, looking around the crowded waiting room. "The lucky winner is: Fabray, Beth Fabray." The little girl drawing on the wall gasps and turns around. Blaine smiles and walks over to her.

"Hewo, Beth," Blaine says in his best imitation of Elmer Fudd. "I'm Doctor Anderson. Hi." The girl stays silent, looking at him suspiciously. Blaine turns to the wall and looks at her art. "Oh. I bet he feels better. He's been wanting to do that for ten years." Beth gives him a small laugh.

"Beth Fabray! What in the world were you _thinking_?" A blond woman nearly shrieks at her daughter. The laughter falls out of Beth's eyes and she goes back to her expressionless face.

"It's alright," Blaine says to the mother before turning back to Beth. "My kid used to say, 'Hey, what's the difference? You weren't looking anyway.'" Beth smiles at him again. "Do you like rabbits?" Beth's eyes widen and she _really_ smiles. "Yes?" She nods. "Then go like this." Blaine wiggles his nose at her and she copies him. "Good. C'mon," he says and starts hopping out of the office, checking over his shoulder to make sure that Beth is doing the same. Ms. Fabray looks at both of them with an annoyed expression on her face as she follows, walking like a normal person thank you very much, into the checkup room.

Blaine bends down and picks up a large brown rabbit from its cage.

"We've given her MRIs and—whoa!" Ms. Fabray exclaims as Blaine shoves the rabbit in her arms.

"Wild rabbit, watch out!"

"And also a cat scan, I believe," Ms. Fabray says when she finally gets a hold on the large bunny. Beth watches, silently giggling at her mother. Blaine puts a few x-rays up on the board to look at them.

"Well, look at that," Blaine says, ignoring Ms. Fabray and looking at the x-rays. "Beth, you have more pictures than a super model." He coaxes another smile out of the little girl. He walks back to her. "Do you ever wear glasses?"

"No, no. She doesn't need glasses," her mother answers for her. Blaine ignores her again, focusing on Beth.

"Does your head hurt a lot?"

"All the time," Beth answers in a soft voice.

"I want you to do something for me. I want you to cup your hand and cover your nose and your mouth like this, and just breathe in and out." Beth does as she's told, eyes wide and trusting, as her mom glares in the background.

"Mr. Hummel on line 4," a voice says over the intercom.

"Oh, it's my husband," Blaine says, walking over to the phone. "Let's see if you can breathe like that longer than he can talk. That'll be a real achievement." He presses the button to pick up the line.

"Blaine…I've got a meltdown," Kurt says, his voice ragged on the other line.

"Okay, take a breath," Blaine says as soothingly as he can, worry instantly clouding his face.

"The eight pieces from Germany never arrived. I've got to choose replacements the night before the opening and get them down here and rehang them and relight them and I…" Kurt babbles. Blaine can almost see him pacing anxiously in the gallery.

"Okay, focus, okay? Focus."

"It's our double-D anniversary, and I'm ruining everything," Kurt says, and Blaine can hear the tears in his voice.

"Double-D, yeah," Blaine says sadly.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. I can't leave here. I'm sorry," he says, sniffling a little.

Blaine rushes over to his desk, yanking open one of the drawers. He pulls out a few slides of all the different paintings Kurt is currently working with and sticks them up on the backlit magnetic board.

"Okay, Um…Tell you what," Blaine says as he rearranges some of the paintings. "How about this? How about the Hudson Rivers? Okay? That gives us three. And the, uh, the Hollenbeck…and the uh, Hanncock 16, 19, and uh…23, the one of the bridge."

"But they're all the way out in Fairfield and I don't have anybody to send." Kurt's voice is a little frantic.

"I'll drop by after work," Blaine says simply. "I'll pick 'em up and take 'em over to the gallery, huh?"

"You'd do that for me?" Kurt asks, sounding much calmer now.

"Only if you're incredibly grateful," he teases, then looks at one last slide. "Hey…that gives us a chance to show yours." He's looking at a painting of a beautiful landscape. In the foreground of the painting though is a naked, blurry man. "You've got to hang it, it's very sexy," Blaine says in a whisper. Kurt laughs because it's sort of a self-portrait. Blaine holds his hand up to his nose, making sure Beth keeps breathing in and out.

"Okay, weirdo," Kurt says, the laugh still in his voice. "I'll be home late. But I'll be home."

"I love you, Tesoro," Blaine whispers into the phone.

"I love you, too." They hang up and Blaine smiles as he focuses his attention back on the little girl.

"Beth, do you like art?" She nods. "My husband fixes paintings and he also makes some of his own." He gets down a little closer to her eye level. "You know, to me, paintings are the most interesting, important thing in the world, next to your brain. You feel better, don't you?" She nods again. "Hmm. Migraines," he says, giving her cheek a pinch.

* * *

><p>Blaine drives across the bridge, paintings in the back of his car. The rain is pouring down and his windshield wipers are at full speed. Even so, it's hard to see because it's coming down in sheets.<p>

_I said 'I love you, Tesoro.' I'll always remember that. At least I got to say it_.

Blaine focuses on the road in front of him as he approaches the tunnel. There's construction going on, cones set up everywhere. Whether it's from the confusion of the rain, or from this guy just being in a hurry, he pulls out into the lane of oncoming traffic, trying to get around the other slow lane of cars. Blaine brakes as the car in front of him stops, knowing this can't end well.

Horns honk, tires squeal, and suddenly the car in front of him is crashing into another car. Blaine manages to stop his own vehicle and yells when a tire lands on the hood of his car.

He flips his hazard lights on before grabbing his doctor's bag. He runs out into the pouring rain, down into the tunnel.

"Are you alright?" he yells at a woman just getting out of her car.

"Y-yes, I think so."

Blaine continues running down the tunnel, stopping at the car that's been flipped upside down. He gets down on his hands and knees, seeing a woman trapped inside.

"I'm a doctor," Blaine says.

"Get me out of here!" the woman shrieks hysterically.

"Don't move," Blaine commands, attempting to keep his voice calm. He hears the sound of metal slamming into metal again and has just enough time to look over his shoulder to see the car flipping over before it slams into him and everything goes black.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Friendly reminder to review. :) **


	4. Chapter 03 I Still Exist

**A/N: Remember, bold = flashback/memory.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 – I Still Exist<strong>

Blaine watches from above as paramedics check his body for a pulse. They put him on a stretcher and load him into the ambulance.

"Blaine." A man's voice says his name.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know what's happened?"

"Yeah, I had a bad piece of fish before bed," Blaine jokes, still watching the paramedics from somewhere that is just _above_.

Everything goes white and now Blaine is staring at himself lying in a hospital bed. He's bandaged to the point that he almost doesn't recognize himself and there are tubes and IVs stuck in him.

"Who are you?" Blaine asks. "Doc? Are you operating on me? Who are you?" He listens to the slow beeping on the heart rate monitor. "Why can't I see you?" The voice doesn't respond and Blaine can only watch as the beeping speeds up then suddenly stops altogether. Once again, everything is white and Blaine is left more confused than ever.

The next time he blinks, he's back at his and Kurt's home. The jacarandas are in bloom and their purple flowers are blowing everywhere in a strong breeze. He enters the house and a small dog starts barking at him.

"Ginger!" he exclaims, surprised. "Ginger, you see me."

"Hmm. She does. Dogs are different," the voice replies. Blaine still doesn't know where it's coming from.

He walks into Kurt's art studio. It's a lovely, open room. There's a large planter full of flowers and even a small palm tree in the middle. The skylight above lets in plenty of natural light. There's a couch and a few comfortable chairs. But most notably are Kurt's paintings lining the far end of the room. Blaine walks in slowly and a blurred, naked man appears in front of him.

"Can you see me now?" the voice comes from the blurred man. He has light skin and dark hair, but that's pretty much all Blaine can tell.

"Is that you, Doc? Why are you so blurred?"

"I'll get clear when you want me to, Blaine. Are you confused about how you got home so fast?"

"Dreams don't deal in time, Doc," Blaine replies, convinced that that's what this is: a dream. "Time doesn't count." He walks past the studio and into the living room.

There's a group of people sitting in there. Kurt's in the middle of one of the couches, crying and whispering softly with his dad and stepmom. Blaine even sees Kurt's stepbrother, Finn, trying to console him from a chair across from the couch. He only has eyes for Kurt as he moves closer to him.

"You've died, Blaine," Doc says, becoming a little bit clearer.

"You have to be a dream, Doc. If I were dead, would I need you to tell me?" He looks back and forth between Doc and Kurt, who has tears rolling down his face.

"I guess you do. Everyone is different." Blaine turns his gaze back to Kurt.

"I wish everybody would go home," Kurt says in a soft, broken voice. His stepmom puts a hand on his shoulder.

"How come I see everyone, Doc? Everybody—"

"I'm the one you don't want to see," Doc interrupts him. "You don't want to be dead."

Blaine hears Kurt murmuring in the background, "The kids were so young at that time." Blaine looks over at the photo albums still on the mantel. They had always kept them out, despite the fact that they were a painful reminder of all that they had lost. But they wanted to keep their memory out in the open.

"What you want to remember is your kids," Doc says from somewhere in the room. "When they were still alive." Blaine's eyes land on a photo of Marie when she was about ten years old. Her hair was longer then. Suddenly, Blaine's thrown into a memory of her.

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine stands in the corner of the room, looking at his daughter as she sits by the dog's bed. The Dalmatian has her head down, whining softly with her eyes barely open as Marie softly pets her head. Even Katie's breathing is heavy, like it pains her to inhale.<strong>

"**When she goes to the hospital, I'm going too," Marie says, a determined look on her face as she glances up at Kurt. Kurt looks down at Katie before kneeling next to Marie and the dog. He takes a deep breath.**

"**Marie…Katie's not—Katie's not going there to get better," Kurt tries to explain, as Blaine watches from the corner, hands in his pocket. Kurt's always better at these sorts of things anyway. "Honey?" Kurt asks, touching his daughter's chin gently to make her look up at him. "They're going to give her a shot, and it's not going to hurt, and she's going to fall asleep."**

"**You're going to kill my dog?" Marie asks, anger creeping into her voice as she looks at her father, completely betrayed. **

"**I'm going to help her die, yes," Kurt says. Marie drops her gaze and Kurt grabs her small hand. "Honey, she hurts. She hurts very—" Kurt stops as Marie pulls her hand away. "Very badly. And nothing can help her, so I'm going to stop that because…I love her." **

"**You're going to kill my dog," Marie repeats, as if Kurt hadn't said anything. She looks at Kurt with hatred in her eyes.**

"**You get angry. Death does that." **

"**What'll happen to her?" Marie asks. She looks a little defeated now, resigned to the fact that Katie must die. **

"**Um…she'll go where we all go…And how can that be bad?" Kurt answers, looking over at Blaine.**

* * *

><p>"<strong>Come on, Pop!" Ian shouts as he runs through the forest with Blaine. It's pouring rain and Blaine's having a hard time keeping up with his son in the thick greenery of the woods. He finally catches up with him and they both lean against the trunk of a huge tree, panting heavily. Though it's pouring, the sun is peaking through some of the clouds and it makes a small rainbow that they both stop and stare at as they try to catch their breath.<strong>

"**Hey, thanks for not listening to Dad," Ian says. **

"**About what?" Blaine asks. **

"**I dunno, you know, just coming out here, this whole day. You know, he didn't want us doing this, because of, I dunno, grades and stuff." Ian shrugs, looking a little sheepish. **

"**Your father and I **_**did**_** talk," Blaine says. "An uh, you know, we always listen to each other." Ian nods, looking away. **

"**So I mean, what'd you talk about?" Ian asks, trying to sound casual. Blaine looks down for a second, then back up at his son.**

"**About taking you out of St. George's. The school's wrong for you." Ian glares at him.**

* * *

><p>"While this is a time…" Blaine hears the minister speaking and looks at his surroundings. He's back in the church. The church where he got married, the church where his kids' funerals were held.<p>

"Where are we now?" Blaine asks, even though he knows.

"Maybe you won't want to stay, Blaine," Doc says. "This is your funeral."

Blaine's already lost interest in what Doc has to say though as he sees Kurt in the front pew, just like when their children died. He's dressed in black again, but this time he's alone. Blaine isn't by his side.

"What am I on? You're real, real fuzzy," Blaine says, refusing to accept what he sees and turning his attention back to Doc. He reaches out a hand to touch Doc's blurry chin. Then he pauses. He can _see_ himself. Before he had just sort of been there. But now he sees his hand. He looks down and there's the rest of him.

"At least you're willing to see yourself," Doc says. "Are you losing your fear?"

"Fear?"

"That you disappeared. You didn't. You only died." Blaine ponders this for a moment as he listens to the minister.

"A man who lost his only children just four short years ago…" Blaine looks around at all the people who have showed up for his funeral as he walks closer to the front of the church. He walks slowly, looking at Kurt who is staring straight ahead. He seems to be lost in his own world.

Blaine kneels in front of Kurt. He's wearing a black scarf around his head. His eyes are brimming with tears as he continues looking blankly ahead. There's no indication that he's hearing anything the minister says. Blaine can't help but reach his hand up and brush his fingers over Kurt's lips, not touching but almost there. Kurt doesn't look at Blaine, doesn't see him. But he blinks once, slowly.

"Hey…" Blaine whispers, taking his hand away. Kurt's hand immediately flies up to his lips, touching them where Blaine had tried to. He takes a shaky breath, his lip quivering a little. Blaine moves his hands to Kurt's face, not quite touching him again. He's not sure if he's unable to touch him, or if he doesn't want to, afraid that his hand will go right through him, like a ghost.

As his hands ghost over Kurt's skin, the tears that were brimming in Kurt's eyes spill over and he blinks slowly again, finally looking over to the minister.

* * *

><p>"This one's a present," Blaine says. "For me."<p>

He's back in their home, in Kurt's art studio. He's looking at a painting that's similar to the place they first met.

The background is made up mostly of jagged, majestic mountains. The ones that are further away are covered completely in snow. The closer ones are mostly green with the occasional bit of white. The sun has slipped behind the tallest of the mountains, leaving the sky a gentle mix of pinks and blues as night approaches. Waterfalls fall down in streams, creating little lakes on the steps of the valley. There's a large lake, similar to where their boats first collided. Only this lake ends in a massive waterfall. A man in a tan trench coat stands atop a cliff next to a leafless tree, gazing over the lake. He seems to be looking at a small house that's set at the edge on the other side of the lake. It's all so peaceful and serene.

There's another panel to the left of the main painting. It features the same green, jagged mountains. There's a man standing on this cliff too, his face turned to them. He's blurry and naked, like in Kurt's other painting. Further back on the cliff, much smaller, is the same man again. It's Kurt, and he's holding the red cloak, spread out in the wind.

To the right is an unfinished panel, a small forest of trees in the first stages of being sketched.

"It's our Double-D anniversary," Blaine says softly to Doc, taking in the painting. "It's kind of our special day," he explains. Doc moves forward to look at it more closely. "It's his version of our place."

"Your place?" Doc asks, turning around to look at him. He's still blurry, but Blaine's able to make out his features better now. He's tall and lanky, Asian. That's about all he can make out though.

"Where we first met," Blaine answers. "Where we were going to retire, I guess. Live out our lives. Be old farts together. Right there," he says, pointing to the house on the opposite shore of the lake. "That's our dream house." He points to the man in the tan trench coat. "That one's me, I guess," he laughs. "The blurry one's Kurt." He pauses. "Hmmm, looks a little familiar, Doc."

Blaine wanders through the art studio and steps into the small office. He sees Kurt there, sitting with his back to them, writing in a notebook, throwing a piece of paper over his shoulder.

"The funeral's over, Doc. Why is this going on after the funeral?" he asks, approaching Kurt to read over his shoulder. He ghosts his hand up on his shoulder while he reads.

_Dear Diary, I'm writing in your bullshit pages because my shrink is crazier than I am. She thinks you're therapy. She figures if two babies can hammer me into the psycho ward, what will I do with _this_?_

Blaine's face twists with pain as he reads Kurt's words. Kurt shrugs his shoulders and shivers a little and Blaine moves to the other side of him.

_She's so stupid. She thinks she pulled me through the breakdown, when it was only Blaine. Always, only Blaine. _

"Jesus," Blaine breathes, his heart breaking all over again. A few tears slide down his face as he continues to read.

_I was looking through his postcards. Paintings were his obsession. He used art as another way to love me, to help me, to keep us always together._

"Kurt," Blaine whispers and is startled when Kurt's hand actually stops writing, like he heard him. He leans closer. "I'm here, babe. I still exist." Kurt pauses again, turning his head and looking off in the distance. "You're thinking of me. Keep thinking of me. Come on, with me," Blaine says, kneeling down next to Kurt. "You're always with me." Kurt turns his head towards Blaine.

"Other people finish each other's sentences. Remember us? I still exist," Blaine continues whispering to Kurt, as Kurt starts looking around him, eyes darting back and forth.

"I still exist." He gets up and moves to whisper right against his ear, "I still exist." He moves his hand to ghost over Kurt's, still clutching his fancy calligraphy pen. "Just write it down. Write it down." Kurt sort of shakes his head, his eyes filling up with tears. Kurt's hand starts to shake.

"This is Blaine. I still exist," Blaine says and keeps on repeating it in Kurt's ear. He watches as Kurt looks away from the piece of paper, hand still shaking heavily. Kurt closes his eyes completely and writes out a few messy letters: THS BLN – I STL EXST. The last line of the T drags on down the paper. Blaine nearly cries from relief, but Kurt's eyes are still closed, a few tears escaping.

"Read it," Blaine whispers. "Read it." Kurt resists for a few moments longer before he finally opens his eyes. He reads the words on the paper and begins to sob. He rips out the pages from the diary, crying and yelling as he gets up and stomps around the room, looking at the desk accusingly as if it is to blame for all of this. He walks around the room, completely lost and broken.

* * *

><p>Blaine finds himself in a cemetery with vibrant green grass and blooming purple trees. There are flowers on a few of the graves, but most of them lie empty in the well-manicured lawn. Kurt is a few feet away from Blaine and Doc, shoulders drooping as he looks down at the grave in front of him.<p>

"Christ, when does it end?"

"There's no rules, Blaine. It ends when you want it to."

"Where were you, just then, when Kurt was writing?"

"Someplace else," Doc says with a bit of a smirk.

"Hmmm."

"What? Do you think I'm a figment of your imagination?" Doc scoffs playfully. "It's real. _He's_ real. _You're_ real. It's _all_ real. That's the point. There is a point. Reality is, it's over when you stop wanting to hurt him," Doc says, putting his hands in his pockets. It's seems Blaine's imagination had decided to finally give him clothes.

Blaine walks up behind Kurt, who is still standing and looking at the grave, his hand loosely clutching at a bouquet of red and yellow roses. Kurt kneels, wiping some of the purple petals off of the headstone, fingers tracing over Blaine's name tenderly.

Blaine kneels down behind him as Kurt's fingers trace over "Forever."

"Don't worry, baby. I'm not leaving you alone," he whispers into his ear. "I'm not going anywhere." His hands finally do more than ghost, and he touches Kurt, wraps his arms around him. But Kurt starts screaming, throwing his hands up over his face and sobbing again.

Blaine stumbles back from him in shock. He stands up, watching the love of his life break down by his grave, and that's when he makes up his mind.

"Good bye, babe," he says, and turns away, his form disappearing again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Reviews please? :)**


	5. Chapter 04 – Painting Your Surroundings

**A/N: Wow, SO sorry for not updating this. I took a leave of absence from the internet a while back and then completely forgot about this! I'll start posting a chapter every three days or so now though! **

**Chapter 4 – Painting Your Own Surroundings**

Blaine wakes up to sound of birds chirping. He opens his eyes slowly. He looks around, finding that he seems to be on the ground. There are flowers in front of him, and lots of green leaves. But there's something wrong with them; they're distorted somehow. No less beautiful, but something is definitely off. They're a little blurry and they look…wet?

He sits up, looking around him. He's in a field full of flowers and tall grass, all with the same weird look. He reaches for a royal blue flower next to him and tries to pluck it. It squelches inhis hand and he's left with a blue liquid-like substance that looks suspiciously like paint all over his hand. He laughs quietly to himself, getting some of the paint on his beige trench coat.

A rustling noise distracts Blaine and he looks around for the source. Suddenly, Katie jumps out from behind a bush, barking playfully and wagging her tail.

"Oh! Katie!" Blaine exclaims happily, petting her and getting some of the blue paint all over her shining, healthy coat. "It's you!" He laughs as Katie greets him excitedly, wiggling around and licking at his face. "You're young again! Oh, Katie!" he exclaims joyfully. Katie barks happily back at him before she turns and bounds away from him, running through the wild flower field of paint.

Blaine follows after her, almost slipping on the paint-covered ground. It looks muddy, but really it's a blend of all the colors mixing together from where he and Katie had rolled around.

"Come here, Katie!" he cries out as he follows after her, still laughing to himself. She bounds along, backtracking and easily outrunning Blaine. "Come on, Katie! Come on, girl!" He laughs as they run, slipping on the paint. The way Katie's barking makes it sounds like she's laughing along with him.

"Boy, I screwed up," he says to himself with a chuckle. "I'm in dog heaven!"

Katie eventually slows down and they settle at the edge of a cliff, next to a leafless tree. The cliff overlooks a lake and majestic, jagged mountains. Blaine sits down with a content sigh and Katie comes over to him. He pets her head and she licks his face, making him laugh again.

"A place where we all go can't be bad, can it, girl?"

Blaine stands as he hears what sounds like a bird call, looking for the source. The wind picks up as he stands, blowing his tan trench coat back. His loose curls blow back too and he throws his arms back and laughs, finally realizing where he is.

"Maybe I'm not in your Heaven after all, girl. Maybe you're in mine!" Katie barks her agreement. Blaine gets that huge, goofy grin on his face again. "Kuuuuuuurt!" he yells out, fully taking in the scene in front of him. The jagged mountains, the lake, the waterfalls. He's in Kurt's painting. He stands there for a few minutes more before he and Katie decide to walk down to the lake shore.

He's almost to the edge of the water when he steps on what looks like another patch of flowers, but he finds himself sinking down into them. He's up to his chest in flower-paint when he hears a familiar voice.

"Blaine! What the hell are you doing? That's not how you use a stethoscope!"

"Mike Chang?" Blaine asks, looking down at the tall Asian man walking on the water-paint of the lake.

"Last time you saw me, I was 63, stretched out on a cardiac ward!" Mike yells, walking casually over the water and laughing. "I bet you thought I'd be old and decrepit, huh? Talking about, 'Oh, can't go on!'" He throws his hands out dramatically as Blaine laughs at him. "Who wants to be 63 throughout eternity?"

"Look at you on the water there!" Blaine says.

"Well, hello, somebody!" Mike says, doing a sassy dance move and kicking up a little of the water but not falling into it. "Come on! Walk along! Feel the breeze!" Mike says, walking away from him, still dancing.

"Dancing on water, smooth as ever!" Blaine laughs and Mike turns back around. Blaine gets a little more serious again as he says, "And that was you…Just now when…when I died."

"I thought you recognized me before, 'cause you kept calling me Doc, me being your favorite doc of all time," Mike says with a none-too-modest shrug.

"Could you lend me a hand here?" Blaine asks, still wading in the flower-paint. "I'm kinda up to my ass in problems again, Doc."

"Oh, Blaine," Mike says, appearing right in front of him. He offers his hand out to Blaine with a laugh, pulling him up and out of the squelching mess. "C'mere," Mike says, pulling him into a hug. "You are still kind of ugly." Blaine laughs as he hugs him back and kisses his cheek.

"You taught me a lot, Doc. Nice place you got here."

"Oh, no no no no no. Nice place _you_ got here," Mike corrects.

"Me?"

"Sure. You're _making_ all of this," Mike explains. "See, we're all pretty insecure at first, so we see ourselves somewhere safe, comforting. We all paint our own surroundings, Blaine, but you're the first guy I know to use real paint!"

"There's so much here he didn't paint…" Blaine says, looking around. He looks up in the sky, a paint stroke mixture of oranges and yellows, even some greens and purples, where the flowers and trees start to blend in. A large white bird stretches it's wings above them, seemingly frozen in the sky swirling with paint. "Like that!" Blaine points to the bird and Mike looks up.

"Kurt gave you a start, sort of like holding on to the handrails. Now you're creating an entire world here. From your imagination, from paintings you love, anything you want!"

"Why doesn't it move?" Blaine asks curiously. Mike shrugs.

"It'll move when you want it to." Blaine looks to Mike, somewhat suspicious, before he looks back up at the bird. Suddenly it launches forward, leaving a streak of smeared paint in its wake.

"Ha! You go, boy!"

"Can I make it dive?" Blaine watches the bird in complete awe.

"You're the painter now! It's your world!" Blaine watches as the bird swoops low over the water of the lake, then turns back to circle around the two of them. It dives down in between them, making a funny, exotic noise as it goes.

"How about maybe turquoise wings?" Blaine asks, and the wings instantly turn that color.

"Turquoise! In the house!" Mike exclaims obnoxiously.

"And a little mauve! All right!" The bird turns a bright amethyst color, almost crashing into a tree, as if shocked by this change to its appearance.

Suddenly, the bird changes course and Blaine frowns. He didn't do that. The bird starts diving towards him and his eyes widen in fear. Mike looks away, trying to hold back his laugh as the bird poops on Blaine, a nice spatter of puke green paint landing on his head and shoulder.

"I didn't do that." Blaine glares at Mike, who finally lets go of his laugh.

"No, I did," Mike admits. Blaine tries to be mad at him, but he can't. He's too happy. "See, when we're together, it's like dual controls."

"Can I make elephants fly?"

"Eh…" Mike says with a shrug and turns around to look out over the lake. "Hey, didn't Kurt paint you guys a house somewhere?"

Blaine gasps as he looks across the lake to the other side and sees the house. Why didn't he think of this before?

"Yeah. It's our dream house."

"It's just a stroll across the water. Let's take the shortcut!" Mike says and steps out onto the water again, walking on top of it easily. Blaine moves to follow him, figuring if this is his world, he should be able to walk on the water too.

No such luck. He falls into the water. _Actual_ water. Underneath the surface it's not paint. It's pure, clear water. It washes away the paint from his face and clothes.

"Nice shortcut," Blaine says under the water, his voice muffled and bubbles popping out of his mouth.

"It's easy, Blaine! Look at me!" Mike brags, dancing on the water. Katie walks patiently next to Mike, tail wagging slowly.

"I'm going to drown."

"You can't. You're already dead."

"Oh." Blaine starts walking on the lakebed. "Am I really here?"

"What do you mean by 'you,' anyway?" Mike counters. "Are you your arm or your leg?"

"Hardly," Blaine answers, walking past a string of kelp.

"If you lost all your limbs, wouldn't you still be you?"

"I'd still be me," Blaine glubs under the water.

"So...what is the me?"

"My brain, I suppose."

"Your brain." Mike scoffs. "Your brain is a body part. Like your fingernail, or your heart. Why is that the part that's _you_?"

"Because I…have sort of a voice in my head, the part of me that thinks, that _feels_, that is aware that I exist at all," Blaine says, and it's like a switch clicks. He's suddenly soaring up into the water. He emerges in the middle of the lake, Mike still towering above him.

"So if you're aware you exist, then you do. That's why you're still here." And with Mike's explanation, Blaine rises the rest of the way out of the water. Mike offers his hand and pulls him up, and now all three of them are standing on top of the paint-water. Katie barks happily again as Mike gives Blaine a proud pat on the back.

Blaine looks to his left and sees that they're right next to the other side of the lake. There's a set of steps that lead up to the house. More paint-flowers and trees line the steps all the way up. Bright purple wisteria is draped all along the columns that support the small home.

Blaine bounds up the steps three at a time, not waiting for Mike or Katie, though they both follow after him.

"No windows. What aren't you ready to see, I wonder?" Mike ponders as he looks at the house.

Blaine walks inside. The home is one big, open room. It's sparsely furnished, and what little furnishings there are, are of course made of paint. But they seem to be a little more…_solidified. _There's a small couch, a table with chairs, some pottery. An antique chandelier hangs above the small table. It's simple, quaint. Kurt would love it.

Blaine takes a seat at the table, where he notices there are two cups, made of paint, of course. Mike follows, taking one of the cups in his hands. To Blaine's surprise, Mike's hand isn't covered by paint. This cup has solidified even more than anything else in the room. It looks _real_.

"Drink up. Just think it's coffee and it will be."

"Okay…" Blaine says with a small sigh, his voice filled with doubt. He takes the cup in his hand. It's like it's made out of wet clay; it's flimsy, but it still holds the liquid inside. He takes a deep breath. "Okay. It's coffee." He takes a sip and immediately spits it back out.

"Paint. Acrylic." He wipes his mouth off on his sleeve, giving Mike a glare, then he laughs, not wanting to give Mike the satisfaction of getting one up on him.

"Why is this so hard?" Mike asks. "Look. Your brain is meat. It rots and disappears. Did you really think that's all there was to you?" Mike looks expectantly at him, but Blaine doesn't answer. "Like, you're in your house right now. You're _in_ your house. But that doesn't mean you _are_ your house." Mike gets up from the chair, starting to walk around the open space. "House falls down, you get out and walk away," he says, gesturing emphatically with his solid coffee cup.

"But it looks like I rebuilt, huh?" Blaine asks, looking at his own hands and gesturing to himself.

"You see a body because you like seeing one. We're seeing what we choose to see. Let me show you something." Mike walks to the far end of the room and Blaine twists around in his chair to watch him. Mike stands in front of the wall, painted with the same mountains that he knows are outside, only these mountains are much more abstract. They're more like the idea of the mountains.

With the hand that isn't holding onto his cup, Mike pushes his fingers into the paint-clay-wall, drawing a vertical oval. He raises his eyebrows at Blaine, smirking a little before he presses on the middle of the oval, and the wall falls down and outside. And suddenly, Blaine has a window, looking outside on his paint world. Blaine jumps up, a smile on his face as he looks outside. Then he gasps.

"It's real. Where's all the paint?" Blaine asks. There's no more paint strokes in the sky, no more squelching wild flowers to fall into. It's all real. Mountains, water, flowers. Everything.

"You don't need it anymore. This is your world now." Blaine looks out in awe at his very own personal paradise.

"Thought is real. Physical is the illusion," Mike says, bobbing Blaine on the head for emphasis. "Ironic, huh?"

"Where's God in all this?"

"Oh, He's up there…somewhere, shouting down that He loves us, wondering why we can't hear Him," Mike says as he looks through the window that's still dripping down paint. "You think?"

"Hmm," is all Blaine can reply. Mike smiles.

"Drink your coffee." Blaine looks down at his cup, which has now turned into a real cup, no longer moldable in his hands. He takes a sip and grimaces a little bit.

"Needs milk."

"Don't push your luck."

They both laugh and clink their cups together.


	6. Chapter 05  Soul Mates and Old Friends

**Okay so for this, stick with the BOLD meaning it's a memory. But when the writing is all in **_italics_**, that means it's what's going on with Kurt, right now, in the present. **_**Bold italics**_** means it's Kurt's thoughts and words. I know this is confusing. Please hang on! **

**Chapter 5 – Soul Mates and Old Friends**

_**What do you think, Blaine?**_

_Kurt stands in front of the painting that was meant to be Blaine's gift for their Double-D anniversary. He brushes his fingers over their dream house before he turns his attention to the unfinished panel to the right. His eyes are almost devoid of any expression as he approaches the canvas. _

_**Right here…**__ He draws a thick, squiggly black line down the middle of the board, and another one parallel to it. __**Like this?**__ He starts drawing more lines, filling the space between the first two. He presses softer on the charcoal so the inside is a lighter gray. __**You think?**__ He draws squiggly lines on top of the two, coming out in all directions, smudging the lines on purpose to blend them. He takes a minute to look back at the outline of the tree he created. _

_Hours later, after he's finished and his painting is dry, he comes back to look at it. _

_**They say we live in our minds anyway.**_

_Kurt runs his fingers over the now completed tree. It's one of the jacaranda trees, like the ones blooming outside their home. It's a vibrant blue-purple, the left of it sort of orange-ish where the setting sun's light is catching it. _

_**Having you with me, like this, keeps me happy. **_

_Kurt steps back from the display, taking in the entire painting. _

_**Why do I believe you can hear me? Why do I think you can see this?**_

Blaine and Mike stroll leisurely through Blaine's paradise, walking along the edge of a cliff. Blaine pauses as he gazes at a hill in the distance.

"What's that purple tree? I never saw that," Blaine says, pointing it out to Mike.

"Well, let's take a look. Think you can get there in eight seconds?"

"Pfff. Eight seconds? Over there?" Blaine laughs, looking at the vast distance separating them from the tree. "Yeah. I'll just need a little incentive."

As soon as he says those words, a flash of red catches his eye. Somewhere between himself and the tree, he can see Kurt. He's dressed in the loose white clothes, like the day they met. He's shaking his cloak out, trying to get it to smooth down over the grass, but the wind is blowing fiercely. He gasps as he loses his hold on it, not able to run after it because it's already blown too far away, closer to the tree. He laughs, running his hands through his hair, looking at Blaine across the distance as if to ask him to get his cloak.

"Yeah...I can fly," Blaine breathes out, a smile on his face as he moves to jump off the cliff.

"Whoa, whoa. No!" Mike says, holding him back.

"Why not? I can do what I want, right?"

"Well, I think you'd be more comfortable keeping it real."

"Yeah?" Blaine's not really listening to him, still focused on getting the cloak for Kurt.

"Think of running real fast, like the Roadrunner, okay?"

"Yeah." He stares at Kurt across the way as he takes off his tie and hands it to Mike. "I can handle this," he says, stepping closer to the precipice. "Adios, muchacho!" he says with a smile on his face as he jumps off the cliff.

"Wait! Blaine!" But it's far too late to stop him.

"Kuuuuuuurt!" he cries out as he starts his descent.

Blaine's arms spread out wide but he's not flying. It's not something he can get his mind around yet. And he starts screaming as he falls down, down, down, getting closer to the flower covered ground.

"I bet you're thinking 'Oh, shit!' now!" Mike calls out above him. Blaine yells again, arms and legs flailing wildly in an attempt to do _something_ but he keeps on falling, the ground fast approaching. He collides with the dirt, landing on his ass and he sort of _bounces_ back up. He laughs. This is perfect.

He leaps up ten feet in the air, a jubilant look on his face. When his feet hit the ground, he starts running fast, feet blurring like the roadrunner, like Mike said.

"You go boy!" Mike yells from the top of the cliff so far away now. Blaine's speed increases as he runs through the bright red wildflowers. He even manages to pluck one while he runs and puts it between his teeth before laughing again and letting it go. "Go, Blaine, go!"

Blaine jumps off another, much shorter cliff, launching himself at the red cloak as it blows through the breeze. He lands on another hill covered in the red wildflowers, the hill that the tree is on. He pants as he looks around, more from habit than from actually being out of breath. He doesn't see Kurt anymore.

"Mike?" He waves the cloak around and it flutters in the wind. "Mike!" He lets it go and it flies away. Mike appears at his side. They turn to look at the tree, not more than 30 yards from them now.

"It's completely new," Blaine says. The sky has turned dark and cloudy over by the tree, but sun peaks through here and there. The clouds serve as a dramatic background for the jacaranda, its flowers blowing gently in the ever present breeze. "That canvas was blank when I was alive. How can I see this drawing after I'm dead?" Mike doesn't answer him, even looks away for a second. "Huh. For an expert, you look pretty surprised."

"You and Kurt a long courtship?"

"No, actually. From the very first moment, it was like—"

"Soul mates," Mike interrupts. "It's extremely rare, but it exists."

_Kurt stands in front of the tree he just created. But looking at it is starting to remind him of how Blaine isn't here. _

"Sort of like twin souls tuned into each other…Apparently even in death," Mike continues to explain. You're reaching each other through his painting. It's nothing I've ever seen, Blaine."

_**You can't see it, can you? **__Kurt thinks as he grabs the bottle of paint thinner. __**And you never will. **_

_Kurt pours the paint thinner over it and watches as it starts to run down the canvas, purple streaks falling from the black base of the tree. He leans back against the panel, crying softly and wrapping his arms around himself._

The tree creaks loudly and suddenly all the flowers start to fall off it, blowing away in the wind. Blaine's smile falters as a few of the blooms hit his face.

_Kurt closes his eyes, trying to breathe. Why can't he just move on?_

Blaine starts to cry as he watches the last of the petals blow away. He doesn't understand. It was so beautiful. It was his connection to Kurt. It was his way of knowing that Kurt was still thinking about him. Mike pats him on the shoulder before walking away from him.

"I love you!" Blaine cries out.

_Kurt's eyes fly open and he gasps. He swears he just heard Blaine's voice. Another tear slides down his face and cries out angrily._

Blaine throws his hands up to cover his face as the wind whips out of control and the flowers start to sting as they hit his skin. He turns away, swearing he hears Kurt's voice on the wind, broken and upset.

_Kurt takes in a shuddering breath, finally able to stop the tears. He stays leaning against the canvas, holding himself tightly._

The wind dies down and Blaine turns back to find the tree completely bare. The jagged branches are all that remain now. The last bunch of purple petals blows away in the breeze.

Katie barks as she scampers along the beach of the lake. Mike and Blaine follow after her at a more subdued pace. A flock of birds fly away they approach. Blaine puts his hands in his pockets and slumps his shoulders, hanging his head and looking down at the sand. He squints a little.

"Whose footprints are these?" he asks.

"Don't ask me, you put 'em here," Mike responds. Blaine jumps as a peacock flies out from the wood next to the shore of the lake. He gasps and when he blinks the peacock is gone and Kurt is there, naked and running towards the water, a smile on his face as he looks at Blaine.

"Kurt..." Blaine whispers before he starts to run after him. "Kurt!"

"Blaine!" Mike calls after him, but Blaine keeps running. Kurt dives into the water and he loses sight of him. Blaine stands knee deep in the water, looking across the lake hopelessly.

"Fantasies aren't what you need right now, Blaine."

"No, you're right. I need _Kurt_."

"That'll change in time, Blaine," Mike says softly.

"Oh, come on, Einstein! Time's not something on my watch anymore!" he says angrily. "Time does not exist here. And wherever it went, it's not going to make me need Kurt any less." He starts walking away from Mike.

"You'll feel differently, Blaine. And so will he!"

"Yeah? Well then you don't know us."

"Wish I did." Mike shakes his head.

Blaine continues to walk away but pauses when he sees a worn out stuffed animal**, a** **tiger,** on the beach next to a piece of driftwood.

"Marie…" he breathes and runs over to the tiger. "Look! It's Tigger!" He picks it up and turns around to show it to Mike. "It's my daughter's! Katie tore it up once and—" He pauses as a thought hits him. "She's here, right? Where is she?"

"Blaine, here is big enough for everybody to have their own private universe." Mike touches the tiger's ear. "That's not why you haven't seen your kids yet...is it?" He walks away from him, leaving Blaine to ponder this.

"Well, what does that mean, Buddha?" Blaine yells after him. "I want to see my children, Mike!" Mike turns back around to face him.

"When you do, you will."

Blaine's left standing on the shore, feeling guilty that he _hadn't_ thought of his kids sooner. He looks at Tigger and he remembers.

**Marie clutches Tigger tightly, her young face beading with drops of sweat. Blaine puts the thermometer in her mouth to check her temperature. She looks down at it with a pout. **

"**Does that hurt?" he asks, rubbing under her jaw lightly.**

"**Mm-mmm." She shakes her head. **

"**That?" He moves forward a little.**

"**Mhmm." She nods this time.**

"**How about that?" he asks, tickling her tummy. She shakes her head. "I'm going to keep doing this until you tickle." His smile fades when she doesn't smile back at him, that alone telling him how sick she really is. The thermometer beeps and he takes it out of her mouth, looking at the temperature. **

"**You got a fever. It's going down, though."**

"**Don't you have to go somewhere?" Marie asks quietly, looking at her father dressed in a suit and tie. Her tone is defiant, but he can see the sadness in her eyes. **

"**You want to play chess?" Blaine asks. Marie's eyes light up like he's just announced he's opened an ice cream shop in the back yard. "I could teach you."**

"**You could teach me that?" Now there's a real smile on her face. **

Blaine wakes up, no, not wakes up, more like returns from his memory. He's lying down on the couch in his dream house. He gets up, walking around, wondering where Mike is. He's all alone now and he's not sure if he likes that or not.

He steps outside onto the steps that lead down to the lake, surveying the beautiful paradise. A woman appears from nowhere, approaching him slowly.

"Excuse me." Blaine blinks at her slowly, taking in her appearance. She's a beautiful Hispanic woman with long dark hair flowing down her shoulders. A fuchsia flower is pinned in her hair and she's wearing a flowing blue dress. "Uh, Mike has to work. He asked me to meet with you. Will that be alright?" she asks, looking a little apprehensive. Blaine smiles and looks down at the gold nametag pinned to her dress.

"Santana? Hmm. It's a very beautiful name." Santana shakes off the compliment with a smile.

"He said you'd been isolated. Do you want see others, perhaps a city?"

"I would, but travel makes me nauseous," Blaine jokes. Santana gives him a slightly patronizing look and laughs softly. She reaches a hand out to put over his eyes.

"Close your eyes." Blaine does as he's told. "I didn't mean forever!" she teases and moves her hand away to pinch his nose affectionately. He opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings.

There are people _everywhere_. He looks at a group of rocks with a few people sitting on them above a shallow pool of water. Two girls carry nets and are laughing as they forget what they were doing and start splashing each other. A girl who looks to be no more than 3 years old runs across the water, her feet barely even touching the surface before she takes off flying.

Blaine finds himself standing on a large, wide set of steps that leads down to the water. He observes all the people. Some are flying, some standing and talking. But all are happy.

"What do you think?" Santana asks.

"I think I'm a little underdressed," Blaine says under his breath. And it's true. Many people are dressed from another time period. Some are dressed in Victorian clothes, some look they came straight from the Renaissance. He laughs to himself, thinking that they probably had.

"You look fine," Santana assures him, taking his hand. "Up till now you've been painting your own world. This is mine." Blaine smiles, still observing all the people, mostly children, laughing and playing. He takes a step down one of the stairs.

"So…there's work?" he asks.

"Mhmm."

"I like that."

"Mike, for example, he's sort of a missionary. Saving lost souls," Santana explains as they walk down the steps hand in hand. They pass a girl blowing a huge bubble and she shrieks with laughter when it pops.

"Like me."

"Hardly," Santana says with a laugh. "They're the ones who can't…get here."

"You mean from Hell?"

"In a way. It's probably not what you think." She doesn't offer further explanation. "My work, on the other hand, is with animals." And just as she says this, Katie comes bounding up the steps, barking happily in greeting. "Katie's an old friend."

_**Dearest Blaine, I don't know how this day unraveled on me. I was so proud of how I held together through this endless afternoon, but coming home, I began to lose it. **_

_Kurt stands in his kitchen, writing in his diary. Chopped vegetables are laid out on the cutting board where he left them when he got his overwhelming need to write. He had to put down his feelings in this letter to Blaine. He knows he'll never see it, but he's made up his mind now and it's important that he records his thoughts. _

_**If I 'd walked out that night for our Double-D, you would have never been in that tunnel doing me a favor.**_

_Kurt leaves the diary, finishing his dinner. He puts it on his plate and sits down at the dining room table. He's poured himself a glass of wine, even lit two candles, though he's not sure why he bothers._

_**A whole family lost to car crashes. Enough to make a person buy a bike. **_

_Kurt looks blankly down at the meal he prepared. He put a lot of effort into the eggplant parmesan. Not because he cares, but because it was something to distract him from the constant, empty ache in his heart. _

"Where are they going?" Blaine's looking up at the people flying, more like floating with purpose, to the golden city across the river.

"They're going to help others be reborn on Earth."

"Really? Reincarnation."

"Mike says to cheer you up," Santana says, changing the subject. "You have difficulty—"

"Losing my husband, yeah."

Santana raises her eyebrows, looking at him as if waiting for him to say something more, but Blaine looks at the ground sadly.

"And your children?" Santana prompts.

"They died years ago. That's why I'm worried about my husband." There's that smile on his face again. The one where you can clearly see his pain, but he tries to push it away by forcing his muscles to feel something he doesn't. "They died in a terrible collision. The nanny was driving. It wasn't her fault."

"And your husband?"

"My daughter had asked him to drive," he says, but gets distracted when he hears one of the children next to him giggling. She sounds a little like Marie and when he turns his head to look where the sound is coming from, he sees that the girl has a short boy crop just like Marie. She's laughing as a woman hangs upside down in the air, her long, frizzy hair tickling the child's face and hiding most of it from view. When the woman pulls back, he sees that it isn't his Marie after all, though he's already stepped toward her. He smiles at the little girl before turning back to Santana.

"It was the trucker's fault. But my husband believed that if he'd been driving the kids, his protective instincts would have…" he gets distracted by the girl-who-is-not-Marie again, starting to wonder if he'll ever see her again. Santana puts a comforting arm around him and leads him down the steps to the water.

"Are you okay?" Santana asks as they come to a stop on the water's edge. Blaine doesn't answer her as they get into a small gondola-like boat.

"Come on, Katie!" Santana calls to the Dalmatian. The dogs barks happily and jumps into the boat with the both of them, tail wagging. Blaine

Blaine continues to take in the scenery around him. He sees one girl, a mermaid, float right above the water. Her body moves like she's swimming through the air. All around them, people chatter away happily. Some float above the water, some swim in it, but most are congregated in little clumps on the steps.

Santana rows the small boat slowly while Blaine gets lost in thought again.

"Where were you just now?" Santana asks gently. "Your mind's been wandering." Blaine blinks at her, surprised to find that they are no longer surrounded by people. The boat floats quietly on an endless expanse of water, marked only by the golden gates to the city they just left.

"Thinking of someone," Blaine answers sadly.

"Your husband must have loved his children very much."

"Very much," Blaine agrees, the sadness on his face deepening. "But you don't have to break in half to love somebody." Santana gives him a quizzical look.

"Tell me a memory of your own." She shrugs. "Say, with your daughter?" Blaine stares off in the distance, looking at the golden gates. It looks oddly like…

**Marie colors a mustache on one of the paper doll mermaids on the display of the city in the clouds next to her bed. There are paper people hanging from wires, floating through the clouds and in front of the golden gates. **

"**Hey, that's somebody else's art," Blaine chastises her softly, sitting at the end of her bed. **

"**What's the difference? You weren't looking anyway," she says quietly, continuing her work. Blaine looks down at the chess board placed between them.**

"**Your move." Marie frowns slightly, biting her lip in concentration as she looks down at the pieces. She looks back to the city in the clouds.**

"**Is this where we go when we die?"**

"**That's a dream, baby. It's a beautiful one. But you know, dreams—"**

"**I know. They're not real," Marie finishes for him. Blaine gives her a soft smile.**

"**It's after midnight."**

"**I haven't won yet," Marie says quickly.**

"**It's your first time."**

"**No, I like that I haven't won yet," she explains. "Means you're not cheating. And when I win, I really win." She smiles shyly. "I just wanna play until I do…unless you want to stop."**

"**No. Let's play until you win." Marie gives him a hopeful smile. **

"She died three months later. We played every night. It meant the world to me." There's tears in his eyes again, though he's smiling. "She never won," he whispers. He looks at Santana again, then back to the golden gates and something seems to click into place for him. He looks back to Santana who's grinning at him knowingly.

"I didn't look like this in the body, you know." Santana smiles coyly. "We flew to Portugal once, and my papa smiled at the flight attendant who," she gestures to herself, "looked like this, and wore this nametag, Santana." They laugh together. "He said Hispanic women are so…lovely and graceful, intelligent." Her voice starts to break as she tears up.

"He didn't mean only—"

"I know, it's just something you said. And what I thought was, when I grow up, I wanna be _that_."

"Do you still play chess?" Blaine asks, looking at her, _really_ seeing her. Santana smiles in disbelief and laughs.

"I think I waited for my partner!" The boat passes a small island with a huge weeping willow. The branches come between them and when they're gone, there's Marie sitting at the other end of the boat. They smile at each other before Marie is back to her "Santana" form.

Blaine hugs her tightly and they both cry softly together. He pulls back to kiss her forehead affectionately and they laugh a little bit as they take each other in before hugging again.


End file.
